This was written after reflecting on a long gynecology call shift…
Yes, I bleed.
Or rather I used to,
Until this thing was inserted into my vagina.
An Intrauterine System, they call it.
Or Merena, if you prefer a softer, more human name.
And my monthly flow, moontime, as you will –
Well, that now is no longer
Marked by the passing of calendared pages.
Of fuzzy puppies and cute cats.
This speaks instead of options and choice.
But I’m tangentializing, and missing my point.
The point, is that yes,
My body is capable of bleeding,
And for about 16 yrs, that’s what it, I’ve, done.
Monthly, plus or minus a few days.
My flow was a reminder of my femininity,
Along with my female-specific bike seat which –
Whether that really helps, I’m not quite sure.
I’m not here to talk about bikes,
Though I do remember a question dating back to grade 7 sex ed.
Can menstruating women still ride bikes?, the question read.
Anonymous. Questions dropped in a hat.
A puppet would read them aloud –
I think we were too old for that.
In answer to your Q, anonymous friend: Yes, we can ride. In fact, we can fly.
And that brings me closer to my point,
You see, I just spent 26 hours talking about bleeding.
Vaginal bleeding to be more specific,
And quantifying, qualifying the cycles of women in our care.
Of women who also bleed,
As about ½ of the adult world does,
Or has. Or will. I mean billions.
Like me, like us.
And yet, these qualifications, quantifications,
Are awkward, hushed and blushed
When outside the private sphere.
Between hospital curtains which
In their generic and failing ways
Strive for ideals of comfort, privacy.
Our cycles, though normal and different,
Cease to be normalized in our everyday.
It makes me wonder, as a woman.
Who bleeds, or at least used to.
How we celebrate ourselves and our bodies.
Our options and our choices.
If by femininity, we strive for female politicians and leaders,
Yet, keep hushed and blushed about cycles,
And hormones and discharge and bleeding,
That in part define our lives and mark the passing months,
Of fuzzy puppies and cute cats.
How questions about bikes and pads, and periods, and tampons, and menstral cups.
Disposable, reusable, hell, even TP in a jam –
Remain anonymous and puppetized.
I wonder how to celebrate that yes,
We do bleed. And yes, it’s different yet normal for all,
And yes, we can ride. And do fly.